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Instead of drinking cold sodas and tearing up my fingers on nickel-wound bass strings with my real friends, I was working on becoming aBarbie-doll pho...y, a parody of something out of "Clueless", which islike being a double parody. The stupid rhymes, the slow-mo danceroutines to terrible songs. I mean, I listened to 80s music in anironic, campy way with Sarah?although we both genuinely loved the Go-Go's and Prince-- but here I was playing air guitar and clumsilyswinging my hips to "Danger. 0% fixed if we could close within a week."I put the palms of my hands down on his desk and said, "Okay, here's the deal. I've decided I need to get out of that small apartment and have been looking for a nice quiet place for the weekend. How about I take it as is, with no clean out? I'll give you $48,000 down, you eat the closing costs and finance the balance at 4.0% fixed. I'll close as soon as you have the paperwork drawn up."Bob looked surprised as he remarked, "Well, I didn't know you were. More

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