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He said 'Uncle Carl' was just a regular guy. He'd drink beer with Roscoe's dad (who was black as the Ace of Spades, by the way), play with the kids so...e, crack jokes, and take a load off his feet when they visited. One thing though – Roscoe said his dad told him not only was the President scary smart, as in the smartest man he'd ever met, he was also the most unpretentious and plainest speaking man he ever knew. His dad told him the President wasn't just 'test' smart, but he was also people. "Yes it hurts!" I whined. My wife smiled as she shook her head. "You're such a pussy." "What's with you today? Did I do something to upset you?" "Upset me? Well, other than interrupting me by knocking on the door, no. I'm having the best day ever!" she walked past me, took a seat on the edge of the bed and lit up a cigarette. "I'm sorry for interrupting you. What were you doing?" "Masturbating." My eyes got wide. "You...um...what?" She smiled devilishly as she picked up a dildo and eyed it. More

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